If you ever find yourself on
A psychotic traveler tour
Hold on, ‘cause you’re in for a treat
It’s such a bargain value!
Oh yes, but wait, there’s more!
Souvenir nightmare t-shirts, with every seat!
A dreadful guide, a welcome bag, no need to tell you twice
You’ll never find a better deal, a steal at twice the price!

If you really want the best seat
Reserve the upper deck
The ghastly views are so sublime!
The open air’s to die for.
The fiery furnace flares.
The pandemonium delivers every time!
The fetid, foul and fun filled family package plan is cursed
Just ask the locals, I assure you, they are all well versed.

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
On the brimstone highway everyone’s boned.
You’ll see all the hotspots. Now this is where you dwell.
The double decker polyester tour bus ride through hell.

We’re glad you have chosen us
The historic hysterical, travel trailer guild.
We have bus tours, get-aways,
Torturous tri-axle trucks, malignant murder microcars to fill!

Bottomless, the gaping maw
Devours all who drop
Demons dance a dark and dreary dirge
The endless entertainment
On a ride that never stops
The netherworld express rolls on, the sinner’s endless scourge
And if you try to disembark, you’ll find that you cannot
You’re fate is sealed. There’s no escape! I hope you like it hot.

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
On the brimstone highway everyone’s boned.
You’ll see all the hotspots. Now this is where you dwell.
The double decker polyester tour bus ride through hell.

Copyright © 2017 by James Mahaffey